The other night I was watching this documentary on David Foster. For those of you who do not know him, he is a legend of a music producer and behind the names of NUMEROUS music LEGENDS like…Madonna, Celene Dion, Michael Buble, Josh Groban, and Michael Jackson to name a few…What he said shocked me and I realized this is true for everyone no matter how much money or success you have…

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The other night I was watching this documentary on David Foster. For those of you who do not know him, he is a legend of a music producer and behind the names of NUMEROUS music LEGENDS like…Madonna, Celene Dion, Michael Buble, Josh Groban, and Michael Jackson to name a few…What he said shocked me and I realized this is true for everyone no matter how much money or success you have…

He said (I am paraphrasing so it’s not exact… Monday-Wednesday-Friday- I am on fire, I love what I am doing and I am in my zone doing great work. Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday I don’t get much done, I question my success, wonder if I am a failure and feel scattered and Sunday I don’t do anything and that’s the truth…

This struck such a huge chord with me because I would think someone who has over 40 Grammy Awards and is considered a legend and has a net worth of over 130 million still has days where he lacks confidence and feels like a failure.

Today I want to talk about 3 tips that can help you boost your confidence in those moments where you feel like a big fat failure.

Tip #1 You know, Theodore Rosevelt said “comparison is the thief of joy.” I say “Comparison is the thief of CONFIDENCE.” If you are always comparing your journey or your business to someone else, you will never get ahead. You need to let other people’s success inspire you, not make you feel inadequate. Whenever this pops up for you make sure to tell your brain to drop the jealousy and say to yourself that it is so awesome and if they can do it so can I, I am going to figure this out. You can train your brain to react in a positive way. It may take some work but before you know it you will love hearing about other people’s wins!

I also want you to think of one place that can easily make you feel like not enough on a daily basis… Can you guess what that is? SOCIAL MEDIA…Not only is it a total time suck but it has this power that instantly lets you start feeling lack by looking at all the perfect images of what everyone else has. I check Facebook and Instagram between 2-5 times per week and I fully admit sometimes I miss friends’ birthdays but I don’t allow it to control me. I also do Pinterest maybe once a month.

I will never forget this one post someone shared years ago. It was an image of a perfect family sitting on one side and a picture of that same family in total chaos on the other side. The post said something like… “All anyone ever see’s is the perfect family photo on the left. What people fail to realize is that this perfect second took 3 solid hours to capture, 5 temper tantrums, screaming, crying, begging, and practically ruined the rest of our day. But hey don’t we look perfect!”

Stop comparing yourself to what isn’t even real! Understand it for what it really is and stop surrounding yourself with it so much. Not only will it help your confidence but you will be a happier person in the process.

Tip #2 takes tip number 1 a little further…Many people are phone obsessed. Your phone is actually controlling you and you are constantly responding to it. You might be asking “how does this relate to confidence…?” Wellllll if you are always reacting to things on your device you are never giving yourself a chance to perform at a better level. That, my friend, produces mediocre results, which then has you questioning your ability to perform, and your confidence level decreases. SOOOOO let’s set you up for success shall well!

Your work needs your total focus and your cell is a total distraction. I am very intentional with my phone and still, I could be way better but here are my rules.

1. No phone in the bedroom, I charge it in my office overnight. This allows me to come and get it in the morning when I am ready. Most mornings I am really good and I do my routine before getting my phone and other days I am not great at it. I also have an app that has my stretches on it so part of my routine involves having that open but this works so well because of #2.

2. I always keep my phone on Do Not Disturb…ALWAYS. When I am doing my stretches no notifications come up. Because I do this I have set aside times of the day where I go check my phone in case I am needed for an emergency. Every hour or so I stretch my legs and do a quick check on the home screen and see if anything urgent is needed.

3. Do not keep your phone on your desk. I am not perfect at this one but most times my phone is on another desk in my office or on the island in the kitchen. I have to make an effort to look at it. If I know someone might be calling I will keep it on my desk. Sometimes I have it on my desk but I put it off to the side and I flip it screen down so I can’t see it.

4. I never have it at dinner. We have a family rule in our house: no cell phones at the table. Occasionally I may break this rule but I am pretty good about it. I remember a few years back we were out and my kids were younger and the waitress said “I have to say I rarely see this anymore and I am really impressed that no one in your family is on an electric device.” We laughed because it’s a family rule.

Take control of how you use your cell. It has a purpose but it can be a sneaky way to self-sabotage your efforts.

The last thing is something I do and it has helped me tremendously. I am a visual person so this is right up my alley. If you are not I still think it is something that will help.

Tip #3. Start adding physical rewards to your goals. When I was first starting out on my consulting business I knew I needed something to keep me going as I was going to reinvest a lot back into the business. So I came up with milestones and I put rewards next to them and then I ignored that list.

What’s funny is what happened next…

I was hitting 20-30K months consistently, my husband got his dream truck, the family got a jet ski, but at that time my back was injured so I could not go on it. I remember thinking to myself one day “I just feel like something is missing for me. I should be happier…” Then I was in my google drive and noticed the spreadsheet I made for my rewards and opened it.

I realized I had totally let myself down. I crushed my 10K/month goal and never got the Oura Ring I wanted. The ring is only a few hundred dollars and I wanted it for a while. It tracks your sleep, steps and so much more. I ordered that ring and I wear it daily and when I look down at it I am constantly reminded about How I crushed my 10K months and that this is my 20K ring.

I now have even bigger rewards for my business. What I realized is that I have done this before. When we had loads of debt we created a plan to pay it off and I said the reward would be a family trip to Europe. We took that trip and when I look at those pictures or see a movie that was shot in Paris, England, or Portugal, I not only smile because of the amazing memories, but I remind myself how even got there and that we paid off over 170K in debt from a previous business that went under.

They are reminders of the things that we can do. Maybe you have not hit a massive milestone like that and that is ok…what is a big milestone for you? Define it and create a reward system that helps your brain see your trophies of success.

Remember no matter what level of success you get to you will always have days where you have doubt and that is totally normal, use these tips to help snap you out of and come back to the awesome person that you are!