The Number 1 Most Powerful Tool to Overcome the Fear of Failure
I recently came across a 2016 survey that said an estimated 34.2 million Americans experience some type of phobia. This same survey said the most common fear is the fear of failure.
Now, this is something we need to talk about. Because, the only way you will actually fail is if you continue to be afraid of it.
For those of you who do not know me, I created a multi-million dollar company in my twenties and lost it all before thirty. I took a while to process that failure and eventually turned it around, became an executive of a multi-million dollar marketing agency, and then came home from a dream vacation and was let go without notice. I then created a multiple six-figure consulting company helping 7-figure business owners with digital marketing strategy & scaling without burn out.
It is because of this I say I feel like I have a Ph.D. in resiliency. I had to push past A LOT of fears to get through this rollercoaster of business that was my early 30s. But if I let a fear of failure dictate my decisions then, I would never be where I am today.
And the most important tool that helped me through all of this was my mind.
“F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real”
The Number 1 Most Powerful Tool to Conquer Your Fears
Our minds are sometimes more powerful than we give them credit for. They are the filter through which all of our thoughts go. When we use them to their full potential, we can achieve anything we want.
When you are stuck in a pattern of inaction because you have a fear of failure, your mind is both the reason you are in that rut, and the way out.
So, how do you use the power of your mind in order to conquer your fear of failure?
1.Create the Vision You Want to See
Have you ever heard of manifesting? It’s basically the understanding that your mind has the power to bring into existence the reality that you want if you focus hard enough.
When my daughter was 6 years old, we lost my Mimi, who was her great-grandmother. She missed Mimi so much, that one night when I went to put her to bed, I shared with her a little trick.
I told her to focus really hard and to think about Mimi as she was falling asleep. She should imagine talking to Mimi and ask her to come to her dream. The next morning my daughter came rushing downstairs extremely excited.
She was no longer sad because she and Mimi had the best tea party ever, and now she knows she could see her anytime she wanted to in her dreams.
Now, this was obviously just a vision of Mimi for my 6 year old daughter to have in her dreams, but I still use this trick today. Your mind is so powerful that if you can focus all of your energy on something you want to come true, there is a good chance it will happen.
Try it right now.
Sit and close your eyes. Think about what it is that you are so afraid of failing at. And then imagine you don’t fail. Create the vision you want to see. Step into your success in your mind’s eye, and keep envisioning it every day until it happens, until you no longer have a fear of failure.
2.Choose Your Thoughts, Change Your Feelings
A close friend of mine just went through a really bad breakup. He was a hot mess, like, the world feels like it’s ending, there is no joy left type of mess. But we sat down one day because I know how terrible it is to feel like that.
He told me he felt like a failure, and there was nothing he could do to fix the situation. But the truth was, he had a choice. He could choose to stop feeling like a failure. All he would have to do is change his thoughts, and his feelings would fall into place.
Do you remember that pesky phrase, “Fake it ‘till you make it”? That’s all about the power of your mind. Sometimes you don’t believe you can do something, but if you keep thinking the same positive thing over and over again, eventually it will become your truth.
So, my friend may not have felt happy or successful in that moment, but the only way he was ever going to be able to move forward was if he changed his thoughts, and made a conscious effort to think the way he wanted to feel.
Now that you understand how powerful your mind can really be, let’s put it into action, and overcome that fear of failure.
3. Separate Fact from Fiction
When you are sitting in your fear of failure, what thoughts are racing through your mind? Are they thoughts that are based on fact, or do they come from a story you are telling yourself?
Let’s say I had a client leave my consulting company. I could let the fear of failure set in and start thinking, “what if they all leave, and I fail again?” I could start to spiral, and be in a really bad mental place just because one client left.
But instead, I would look at the situation logically, and reframe those thoughts. Are all of my clients leaving? No. So, one client left, but what can I do this week for my current clients, and go the extra mile for them?
This helps me focus on the things I can control, instead of what I can’t. I know that I can deliver amazing service, and that I even have room to onboard a new client.
Do you see the difference in clarity you get when you take a step back before letting the fear of failure take over? Instead of letting anxiety, worry, and fear overwhelm you, focus on what is really happening, not the story you are telling yourself.
Think about it as if your mind is like a garden and negative thoughts are like weeds. The negative thoughts will pop up from time to time, but if you put the effort in, and weed out those thoughts, your mind will stay healthy and some pretty positive things will begin to happen.
So, never forget how powerful your mind really is.
It can be the number one tool when you are working to overcome any fear, especially a fear of failure. Keep envisioning the success that you want, change your thoughts to ones that benefit you, and look at any situation from the parts you can control.
You have the power to conquer your fears through your mind. Even if you have to repeat this process 100 times a day, keep going. Eventually, the positive thoughts will stick, and your future will be entirely what you make it.
You can also apply these concepts to money management. A lot of our challenges around money are actually a mindset issue. Once you get the basics of having your thoughts work for your benefit, everything else will fall into place.
Have you ever let the fear of failure hold you back? What are some things you have done to try to overcome it? Are there any other mindset issues you think you could apply these lessons to?