In Today’s episode, we are talking about the most common phobia – the fear of personal failure.

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Digital Dame. Today is going to be a good one!! Everyone, even myself, has faced fear at some point and what is so interesting is according to a 2016 survey, an estimated 34.2 million Americans experience some type of phobia. The most common is the fear of personal failure. WHAAAAAT. If the most common fear is of personal failure then that is something we need to talk about!

For those of you who do not know me, I created a multi-million dollar company in my twenties and lost it all before thirty. I took a while to process that failure and eventually turned it around, became an executive of a multi-million dollar marketing agency, and came home from a dream vacation and was let go without notice. Then I created a multiple six-figure consulting company helping 7-figure business owners with digital marketing strategy & scaling without burn out.

Episode Highlights:

[00:47] 34.2 million Americans experience some type of phobia.
[01:11] I created my first multi-million company in my 20s.
[02:30] Hard break-up/hot mess.
[03:02] How I rebounded from losing millions of dollars.
[03:47] How to visit deceased loved ones in your dreams.
[06:37] Practical ways to change your thoughts about your fear.
[08:07] Validate the fear.
[09:41] The garden analogy.

Episode Quote
“The last thoughts you have before you drift into sleep can help shape your dreams.

Kara Charron

Read The Full Episode:

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Digital Dame. Today is going to be a good one!! Everyone, even myself, has faced fear at some point and what is so interesting is according to a 2016 survey, an estimated 34.2 million Americans experience some type of phobia. The most common is the fear of personal failure. WHAAAAAT. If the most common fear is of personal failure then that is something we need to talk about!

For those of you who do not know me, I created a multi-million dollar company in my twenties and lost it all before thirty. I took a while to process that failure and eventually turned it around, became an executive of a multi-million dollar marketing agency, and came home from a dream vacation and was let go without notice. Then I created a multiple six-figure consulting company helping 7-figure business owners with digital marketing strategy & scaling without burn out.

Episode Quote
“I always say I feel like I have a PHD in resiliency and I have had to push past a lot of fears.

Kara Charron

 I always say I feel like I have a PHD in resiliency and I have had to push past a lot of fears. Fear is interesting because it can hold you back for as long as you let it. It is so powerful that so many people let fear dictate to them how they show up in life.

I love giving practical advice and tools to help us move past the crap that is holding us back. I was recently talking with someone who had a hard break-up and this person was a hot mess. They kept saying how much they felt like a failure. I told this person there was nothing they could do to change that outcome but the only person making him feel like a failure is himself. He said, “how is that?”

I told him, “You control your thoughts and your thoughts control how you feel. Change your thoughts, change how you feel.” He said, “Well it’s not that easy” and I told him how I rebounded from losing millions of dollars…I changed my thoughts and yes the mind is stubborn and that crappy thought keeps popping up, but you, my friends, are the master of your mind. I think sometimes we forget how powerful we really are.

For us to move past our fear, we need to create a new thought and we might not get it right the first time, but if you are persistent with this, I guarantee you can change the thought.

The mind is such a powerful thing…years ago when my daughter, who is now 15, was maybe 6, we had lost my Mimi, who was my daughter’s great-grandmother. She missed Mimi so much and one night I went to tuck her in at night, and she was crying saying how much she missed her. I told her my little trick which had worked for me even as an adult (side note: it does not work every time.) I told my daughter all I wanted her to focus on as she was going to sleep was thinking about Mimi and asking her to come to her dream. Over and over, keep thinking it until you fall asleep.

The next morning, my daughter came rushing down the stairs with so much excitement, telling me how she and Mimi had the best tea party ever and how she was NOT so sad anymore. Because she knew she could see her anytime. Like I said it doesn’t always work, but it does work.

The last thoughts you have before you drift into sleep can help shape your dreams. Some people, like my husband, never dream, so it doesn’t work on him, but try for yourself – repeat something over and over and over until you fall asleep and see what happens.

>>>I tell you this story to illustrate how powerful our minds really are.<<<

 

Let’s talk about practical ways to change your thoughts about your fear.

 

> The first thing you need to understand is that you need to challenge the thought. I ask myself if this is fact or fiction.

Let’s say I had a client leave my consulting company, and then that fear of failure sets in, and my thought was ‘what if they all leave and I fail again?’

Is that a fact, or is this fiction (a story I am telling myself)? Well, it’s a story – it’s not a fact – it is not actually happening….

 

> Next on my checklist is to validate that fear.

What if they all did leave? What would I do? How could I survive and fix it and work out a plan so that my mind can stop freaking out?

Reframe the thought…What can I do this week for my current clients that will go the extra mile for them? I know as long I am delivering amazing service that’s the only thing I can control and focus on.

Instead of letting one thing shatter my confidence and create loads of anxiety…I focus on what I can control – my thoughts. I love the analogy that your mind is a garden and you have to weed out the negative.

 

So remember: you have the power to control your thoughts and if you have to tell yourself the new thoughts 100 times or more – keep going, because eventually it will stick.

 

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