What To Do When You Feel Like Everything Is Falling Apart

Episode 3

What To Do When Everything Is Falling Apart

Hey there, and welcome to the Digital Dame podcast. My name is Kara Charron. And with almost two decades of experience in business and marketing, I decided to leave the corporate world behind and share with you the ins and outs of growing a digital business. I’ll pull back the curtain on my failure successes and everything in between. So whether you are working towards your first seven figures or trying to break through to your next, this podcast is designed to help you achieve your goals. I’m here to serve you and your business. So let’s jump into today’s episode. Shall We? Hello and welcome to today’s episode. This is really real because I think we’ve all been there before. I know that I have been there multiple times and today I’m going to share with you a story. Uh, one of the most traumatic things when everything was falling apart.

But I want to talk to you today about, you know, what can you do when everything is falling apart? Maybe in your personal life, in your business, maybe it’s a combination of everything around you just seems to be exploding and everything’s falling apart and you’re not really sure where to turn and what to do. You want to throw in the towel, you want to give up, you just want to pull your hair out. Or maybe you just want to go drink wine and watch or eat ice cream and watch movies, Netflix binge for a whole weekend and just not even talk to anybody. If that is you know you, if you’ve ever been there, then you understand that it can feel completely overwhelming and you can feel completely useless. Like you got nothing left feeling 100% drained and that you have no idea you just in those moments of feeling total despair.

So I want to share with you a quick story about. In one of my businesses that was a multimillion dollar business and everything was just hitting the fan. Just man, all the fires were exploding. And it happened to be, ironically, when my husband and I were in Hawaii of all places, Beautiful Kona at a one week long, personal development conference at that. So that’s was, you know, perfect setting to have your business be in a hundred percent chaos. And we got a email from a manager, uh, and just basically saying there was just literally so much going on with the company that it was going to collapse. And we were like, okay, just, just wait a minute. Um, you know, we had at the time we, there was a real, we had a real estate company, so we had multiple units, um, large apartment complexes, commercial buildings, we flipped houses.

We did lots of, of different, and so we had our property manager of one of them at one of the buildings call and say this one particular building was over 20 units saying that, you know, tenants were leaving that, um, it was the dead of winter and we were in Hawaii and there was just all this chaos going on. Um, we had purchased the building and I think the person kind of, um, stacked it with people they knew and we closed on the building and it went down to like a 50% occupancy rate overnight. And the, uh, you know, we had all the inspections done before we closed, but now that we had closed and we were owners, now the Fire Marshall was inspecting all of these buildings sold by this particular person and it was now our responsibility and there was fines and all of these things that were, you know, coming up.

And then we had just so much crap, um, happen while we were on vacation. We, we just kept getting phone call after phone call of this problem, this problem, this. And it was all in one particular building, one that we had just purchased. And it was just like, oh my gosh. Like I couldn’t even wrap my head around all of this amazing content that I was trying to digest in that beautiful Kona because there was chaos everywhere. And one of the key learnings I got from that was, you know, you can’t control those surroundings, but I can control myself and I can control how I respond. And so even though there is chaos externally, I don’t need to let that chaos come internally and I need to own that and just be able to move forward calmly. And that is a lot easier said than done.

And one of the things that really helped with that for me was meditation was being able to meditate not very long, um, five or 10 minutes, even in the morning. And just being able to calm myself so that I can get focused and , get clarity really helps put things in perspective for me. And one of one of the things that can snap you out of moments of complete chaos when things are going on, whether that’s personally, whether that is in your business. Also, it’s just aligning yourself back with gratitude. You know, there could be so much going wrong in your business or in your personal life, but I guarantee you that there is somebody out there who is struggling worse than you. And going through something worse. Right? And so you have to focus on what are you grateful for? Cause there’s always the positive.

You can always find something positive to grateful for. I’m not saying that you have to find a positivity in every situation. Um, what I’m saying is, is that you need to be grateful overall. Put your attention on and focus on something else that you are grateful for that just brings you back into like a better space and energy. Because if you come to this place just reacting to things, you’re not necessarily going to be in alignment, uh, with who you really are, right? If you have all of this chaos and crap just coming at you and you feel like, oh yeah, you’re just responding, you’re responding and reacting, right? You’re not really in that place where you can calmly sit down to figure something out and sometimes that means you have to step away. Or even if there’s something that’s heated being said, it’s like, okay, you know what?

I need to go regroup and I’m going to get back to you. Cause I honestly don’t know the answer right now. And this conversation is not productive for me. So I’m going to go figure out a plan. I’m going to regroup and I’m going to come back. Does that sound fair? And I think that when we get into that alignment of like, okay, I cannot let the emotion of the situation take control. I need to always remain in control of my emotion and I need to remain in control of myself. So for me, when all of this was happening and it would think, is that like at the tail end of the event, um, you know, we were just like every day something new was happening to two or three different things. And I just felt so anxious to come home. Like I didn’t even want to come home.

I was like, oh my gosh, can we just stay here? Can we, can we forget about all of that? Can we just stay here and let me tell you something. Denial doesn’t fix anything and doesn’t work as great as it sounds, it just doesn’t. So the best thing that I can recommend if everything feels like it’s falling apart, number one, please start doing meditation in your life at least five or 10 minutes a day. And if you don’t know how to meditate, it’s super easy. You don’t have to have a guided meditation, you can just literally sit down. Put a timer on your phone, close your eyes. If you want music, you can have peaceful music going in the background. And what I like to do is just, you know, release things and let go. Just let it go, let it go, let it go.

Like just let it go. And all the emotion that I’m feeling, I just keep saying, just let it go. Let it go, let it go. And I just do that for about five minutes. And then what I do is set another time or after for five more minutes and I sit down and I put, I closed my eyes, I put a smile on my face and I think of my future self, I think of where I want to be in like five years or like just that future self. And I get so happy watching myself in the future and I keep showing myself what my day looks like, five. And it’s my dream. You know, I focus on my dream and I, and I just feel so excited and so grateful that I finally made it. I’m finally here, I’m finally in this situation and just all of this gratitude and happiness pouring out and do that for five minutes and then you can get up and start your day or get back to your day depending on whenever you do it.

But I find that those practices really, really helped me stay aligned no matter what. I do those actually every single day, regardless of my day, and I have now become super addicted to it. I don’t feel right if I don’t actually start my day like that. So that’s, that’s one thing. Um, I’m just looking at my notes. I know you can’t see me, but if you, I’m pausing so that I can look down. And the other thing for me was, and this has happened multiple times for me, whenever I can make a plan, then I feel better. So I need to sit down and, and think. So whether that’s, you know, a financial plan, whether that’s, you know, a business like you’re recovering from something tragic going on in your business or something. Like I needed to just sit down, clear my head and ask myself, how can I fix this?

There’s gotta be a solution. There’s gotta be a solution. How can I fix this? And I, and it, if it doesn’t come naturally to you, if the solution isn’t coming naturally and easily than keep asking yourself that question throughout the day because it will come to you. Like if you allow and you open up, do your meditation and you keep asking those questions, like you will give yourself the answer and sit down and figure out a plan. Like what is it going to take for you to feel better about this? Only you know the answer to that no one else knows, knows the answer to that because everything is just perception, right? And it’s how you’re perceiving the event. So what is it going to take for you to feel better and move on and get past this and fix it or close the chapter, whatever that is.

What’s the plan? What are you going to do? Create the plan to fix the situation, like and fix it to your liking and no one like, you know what I mean? Like where it’s going to be satisfied for you. Like, okay, this is what I need to do and focus on it and then put that plan into action. Focus on and be like, okay. For us on our plane ride from home, from Hawaii, literally when we got home, we had a full plan on how we were going to fix every single problem. We identified every problem. We asked ourselves, okay, what is the solution? There has gotta be one here. We had conversations and then ideas and then we’re like, yes, there’s the solutions. We can do this, this, this and this for that section. Then next fire, next thing, okay, what can we do to fix this?

Like what you know and just look for a solution. It’ll come. And so when you create that plan, focus on the plan and just make the plan happen and don’t be attached to the outcome, honestly in someone might say, WHAT, but don’t be attached to the outcome. Like I know that this is my plan and you can’t control the outcome, right? You can only control yourself and how you’re going to respond. So that’s what you need to focus your plan on and, and just do that. You can’t, if someone else doesn’t necessarily love how you’ve done this, okay, I’m open to talking about this, but you know, this is what I feel is the right solution and, and I’m gonna fix it this way. This is how I plan on doing it. And as long as you feel good and in alignment with what your plan is, then you have to focus on that, right?

Because it’s, it’s again, just your perspective that really matters. And that’s not saying that other people don’t matter. I believe people matter 100% but I also know that I can’t, I can’t, just change someone’s mind. Like, if they’re, if, if there’s something example, you know, we’ve had someone, you know, embezzled money from us, like, you know, um, and he had his reasons, like, I can’t change his mind. Like he thought like, you know, he was doing what he needed for his family. Like, okay, like I’m never gonna agree with that. Like you’re fired. Like, I can’t do anything about changing you like, if you can’t feel like that was wrong, like I can’t change your perspective on that. Uh, but I know my stance and I know this is how I’m gonna handle this situation and this is what I’m going to learn from this situation and here’s my plan moving forward.

You know what I’m saying? So I think that, you know, you cannot control the external, you can only control the internal. So that’s where I really want you to focus on. And that my friends is how I deal with anything. When things are kind of falling apart. When you feel like there are fires everywhere, you know, just, let’s do a quick recap. You just want to be able to get clear and make sure that you’re trying to remain calm and have an open mind. Meditation certainly is a lifesaver and releasing and just letting go the negative space so that you can get into a good energy to make the proper decisions because no good decisions ever come from like the, you know, if you’re in the middle of something and that there’s all of this emotion and you make this rash, usually those are the ones that you’re kind of regret, so you won’t want to be able to center yourself and you want to be able to tackle this with a clear mind.

You want to create a clear plan that is going to satisfy yourself so that you’re not having regrets so that you’re not saying, oh, I should have done this better. I should know. You know you’re going to get in alignment with yourself so that you can create that crystal clear plan that you are proud of, that you are not going to second guess yourself. This is it. This is the plan I came up with and I’m just going to go ahead and do it and fix it and move on. And again, remember that there is always gratitude. There’s always something to be grateful in your life. Even if you have a whole bunch of fires in your business, there’s something to be grateful for. You woke up today, you know what I mean? If you have kids, Mike, gosh, like go look into their wonderful eyes and there’s something to be grateful for.

Thank you so much for this, right? If you have a pet and you take your dog for a walk and you’re just enjoying the air while you’re taking the dog for a walk, and I am so grateful for this moment and get yourself back into a spot where you can just get centered, get clear and fix the problems that are happening. So I hope that that helped you a little bit. If you are going through that or maybe you’ve related to some of the stories that I have just shared with you, I hope that you have, and I hope that you tune in for another episode, a digital Dame. We drop episodes every week, so stay tuned for our next week’s episode and I look forward to sharing more info with you. Then.